Marriage Matters

Marriage matters. Second only to God is where it's supposed to be. I'd say that's pretty important. Definitely important enough to say it matters A LOT! I don't claim to be anywhere near being the perfect wife. And if you don't believe me, just ask my husband. Though I'm sure he'd be very gracious about it (because we really try not to EVER cut down the other, particularly when talking to people), he would have to say that I fall short. Though he would also add that he does too. But I do want to make it clear that we both try to pursue excellence in our relationship. Yet, like all other human beings, we miss it at times, sometimes more often than we care to admit. I realize that I'm extraordinarily blessed to have a godly man who loves me unconditionally and who tries whole heartedly to be a great husband. A lot of women, many who are much more beautiful, intelligent, creative, talented, kind, and just all around wonderful than I am, don't have this blessing in their lives. I get that some men are just, well, for lack of a better term.... jerks. Or else they just are unengaged, uninterested, unmotivated, and uninvolved. And I get that it can be really hard to put effort into your marriage when your husband is at best apathetic and at worst a complete ______ (any word I can think of to insert in the blank really isn't appropriate for someone attempting to live a godly life, so I will just let you use your imagination). But if we always wait til our husband acts in a "deserving" way before we make any sacrifices to better serve and minister to him, then nothing is going to change. I get that it's not "fair" for a wife of a less than stellar man to work on becoming a wife of godly excellence, but as I tell my kids, "Life is definitely not fair," so we can either cry and whine about it, or accept it and go on. God commands married women to honor their husbands. There's no clause afterward stating that we are released from that directive if we are married to someone who would come in last place in a husband of the year contest. I also realize that God commands husbands to love their wives. But just because a husband is disobeying God doesn't give us an excuse to. God expects each person to obey Him regardless of what anyone else is doing. And, yes, sometimes that's hard. Other times it's super hard. That's where things like grace, commitment, and perseverance come in.

Having preached my little sermonette here, I'll share one way that I do this.  Don't worry, this tidbit isn't a real huge sacrificial thing. You know this blog is all about joy. And I'm a big fan of making everything as much fun as possible. We do dates. Yeah I get it. There are lots of excuses why we can't do them consistently. Too expensive, too time consuming, too hard to coordinate schedules, too tired..... and blah blah blah. OK I'm here to knock the excuse tower down. You can do cheap or even free dates, quick dates, dates that don't require a lot of energy, etc. Maybe you think you aren't creative enough to come up with ideas. Cool part is, you don't have to. There are many ideas for dates that fit around whatever your limitation is. You can find books, probably apps, definitely internet sites that are chock full of ideas. Some of them might not be your thing, but I bet anyone can find something they might enjoy. And who knows? Maybe one of those ideas that sounds a little stupid or weird or not you or just meh might actually turn out to be better than you think. It doesn't hurt to try. And if it does end up being a total flop, you and your husband have created a memory you can look back at and laugh. So even a bad idea can end up bringing you joy.

I'll give you an example of a date that cost zero. Yesterday, I made breakfast for Jim and me (used food I already had in the house) and brought it up to our bedroom, locked the door, and told our kids we weren't available. So we enjoyed breakfast in bed together. Simple, No money spent. Didn't even have to get dressed or go anywhere. Once breakfast was made, this date didn't even require energy. Well, not while we were eating the breakfast anyway. And that's all I'm saying about that. Just in case anyone who might be bothered by any further narration of the rest of the morning is reading (AKA any person to whom I gave birth). ;-)  So that was my daily bliss for yesterday.

My next project is to find a good resource for studying one of the books of the Bible in depth since my weekly Bible study will soon be ending for this year. I'm sure I can find something suitable online. What did I ever do before Google?

So in keeping with our theme of joy, what date ideas have you done or would you like to do? I'd love to read about them.